The year of 2019 has been a heck of a year for me. I’ve started maturing as a father and realizing the demands on having not one, but two young kids can have on a parent. Professionally I went through my first acquisition (which was a strange one to leave it at that). I’ve struggled with health issues that have likely been impacted by the above. While this year has been a bit of a grind, it’s also tested my resiliency and given me perspective on life in general.
When I started the year I gave myself 3 goals that I achieved pretty quickly:
Gain a better understanding of where my investments lie.
Play more games (video, card games, etc).
Drink more water.
As we get close to to the end of the year, I put one more on my list that hasn’t been as easy as the others: be happier. And while I still have a long way to go on this one, I wanted to share a few thoughts and ideas on how I’m working to make this a reality.
I previously documented my journey on self-care, in which I focused on areas of both my physical and mental health. The results of the work done in that post are apparent to many when I see them for the first time in a while: my body is the best shape it’s ever been. I’m really proud of that fact, however, as I look back more I realize that may have came at a price of my happiness.
Moving forward I’ve realized that much like investing in your physical self by exercising regularly and eating well, investing in your happiness will pay dividends. It’s unlikely that happiness will come find you out of the blue - working at it will help make it a reality!
Below are a few tips I’d recommend considering if you too are looking for a bit more happiness in your life.
Do Your Research
We’re in an age in which the stigma of mental health is breaking down. This encouraged me to do more research online and find resources that could help me. Two that I credit to giving me a ton of perspective are:
Dan Gilbert’s Tech Talk on “The Surprising Science of Happiness”. This was a game changer for me, in which Dan speaks of how our brains are not our best ally when it comes to happiness. It’s a tad bit dated but the content still stands today and will make you really think about how we manufacture happiness in our lives.
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. This podcast was shared to be by a former leader and mentor of mine. While I do not spend much time listening to podcasts, this one has been on regular rotation for me. Dr. Santos breaks down the science behind happiness with amazing guest interviews, humour and ultimately a frank and direct way in sharing how science can help us be happy.
Build an External Support Network
I’ve been really lucky to have some amazing support in my journey this year. While family tends to always be the first line of support, seeking out additional support to focus on your mental health, that is separate from your day-to-day, can give you a better perspective on life in general. Last year I started seeing a psychologist regularly which has given me an outlet and person to learn from that doesn’t have the same context as my family or team at work does.
I’ve also utilized my work’s benefits through our Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to get support when needed. Most organizations offer this benefit and it’s highly under-utilized. Having a direct connection to speak to someone at any time of day, and knowing there are resources for me 24/7 helps give me the confidence I need.
Treat Yourself
Life moves fast. As more responsibility has come on me in the past few years, I’ve thought much more about planning for the future and ensuring that, financially, my family will be in a good space. While we do have a good plan for our kids education, retirement, emergency fund, etc. - I was focusing too much on the future and less on the now.
I’ve found myself worrying less about spending money to make myself happier today vs. saving those dollars for a future situation. I find myself being more open to little things like buying that cup of tea, going out to that dinner or heck, buying that Vancouver Canucks hockey jersey (or two!).
I’m really excited on the next journey I’m taking to be a happier person. It’s not easy, and it’s never perfect but I’m thrilled at my progress so far and I’m looking forward to carrying these practices into 2020 and beyond!
